i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
