Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
