we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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