just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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