Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
