we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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