Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
