apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
