I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
