Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
