i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
