There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
