i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
