He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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