i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
