Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
