Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize