remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
