The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
