I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
