Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
