This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
