So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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