Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
