Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
sex in a hospital.. check
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
