that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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