Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize