Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize