it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
