4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
