She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
