Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize