No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
