I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
