***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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