Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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