Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
