i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
