you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
