His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
