I hate your face
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I understand Curling. That high.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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