You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
