i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
