So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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