Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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