I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
