i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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