Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
