Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize