Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
