..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
