I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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