I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
