So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A bitchslap is in order.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
