You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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