Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
