My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize