the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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