Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
