genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize