wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
