so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
