So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
