Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Even my vagina gasped.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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