Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize