i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
