who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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