i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
