i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there was a trapeze. enough said
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
