Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
