Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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