It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When are your genitals available?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
