I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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