Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You smell like stripper and shame
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
