My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
