At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
