She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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