Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
