Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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