were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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